Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Weight...

So 16 weeks of transformation turned into me giving up in the second week. I'm told that the improtant part is not giving up and failing only happens when you stop trying...so here I am. I am on a journey trying to figure out what has kept me overweight nearly my whole life. Today I had an intersting conversation with an awesome woman who has crossed my path. I am realizing so much about myself, as a woman with feelings and emotions. I realized today how much junk I have held on to. Why have I held on? In some way I think it comforts me. To face my struggles or to even allow God into that scares me. Not because I don't think that God can't heal me or bring restoration in this area of my life but because I know I will be challenged to change and change hurts sometimes.

My whole life I have defined myself by the scale and have always fallen short. Today I realized that there is so much more to me than my weight. I always knew that but today I heard it with my heart. I am loved deeply by my Fiancee for who I am. My friends and family love me for who I am. I am creative and loving. I am a leader and encourager. I am incredibly sensitive and love to see others encounter an authentic relationship with their creator. I am loyal and hardworking, I am a child of God...loved deeply by him and set free! I am more than this weight I have been carrying...or has it been carrying me?